In spite of the availability of AMC’s 270 horsepower 327 cubic-inch V8 and a host of innovations, the Rambler Marlin was just too weird for America to fall in love with, and sales were dismal.
Ah, The Goat. The car that many automotive historians point to as the very genesis of the muscle car. When it was first released as a performance options package for the LeMans in 1964, it took America by storm, so much so that it became a separate model in the Pontiac lineup by 1966 and was given a refresh that quite a few folks, including this humble columnist, believe to be one of the most beautiful muscle cars ever made.
Subsequent generations broke ground not only in the looks department, but also in performance as well, culminating in the raucous output of the 400 cubic-inch Ram-Air IV engine in the 1970 model. Unfortunately, with stricter EPA and insurance guidelines, that year proved to be the zenith of the GTO, and The Goat’s engine output began to dwindle year after year thereafter.
With hideous, shrouded, round headlights, a grille split by a pointed, body colored snout, unattractively shaped quarter windows, and a lazy, sloping rear deck, the ’73 Goat was an abomination compared to its ancestors. Sales were a piddling 4,806 units, and although the GTO limped on for one more model year with a new body swiped from the Chevy Nova, the 1973 essentially killed off the once great beast. An indignity of no small proportions.
How Oldsmobile could disrespect the legacy of their most illustrious muscle car by slapping the 442 moniker on this offensively bad vehicle is beyond me, but they did it, and it was thankfully an abject failure in the marketplace.
1978 FORD MUSTANG II KING COBRA
Want my vote for the worst looking “muscle car” of all time and the most insulting blemish to an iconic vehicle’s legacy? Well, here you go.
The Mustang II was released in the midst of the oil embargo of 1973, and was billed as a lighter, more efficient pony car. Despite being based on the Ford Pinto, and featuring watered-down looks that paid no respect to the Mustangs that preceded it, the car somehow sold well. Very well, in fact, as many people were looking for just this type of frugal daily driver that was easy on gas which, at the time, was skyrocketing in price.
For muscle enthusiasts though, the car was an unmitigated disaster. Not only didn’t the Mustang II look brawny, but its top engine was a pathetic 2.8-liter, 12-valve V6, good for (are you ready?) 105 miserable ponies. Quite a far cry from the Cobra Jets and Super Cobra Jets of just a few years prior.
(Photo courtesy of CarScoops.)
To address the discontent, Ford made a lot of noise about squeezing a V8 into the Mustang II for 1975, but the die-hards knew a pig in lipstick when they saw one, as the 302 FoMoCo used was a watered down two-barrel with a mere 140 horses.
In 1978, Ford tried again with the King Cobra, a variant festooned with spoilers, louvers, stripes, and a Trans Am-style cobra snake hood decal. The car looked gaudy, and to boot, packed the very same 302 with no power bump.
Not surprisingly, the King Cobra was a dud and only sold 4,313 units. Ford cut its losses, and introduced the Fox Body Mustang the following year, which would eventually be developed into a proper muscle car.
1975 PLYMOUTH ROADRUNNER
(Photo courtesy of Driving.ca.)
In the 1960s Plymouth was the manufacturer of many a snarling muscle car, and one of their best models was the B-body Roadrunner. With classic lines and available big block engines such as the legendary Chrysler 440 + 6 and 426 Hemi, the ‘runner combined looks and power into an affordable package.
In 1975 though, that winning combination was delivered a death blow upon the release of the third-generation car.
Massive and ungainly, with no flair or interesting lines anywhere on it, the ’75 was a huge disappointment to fans of the muscly and aggressive-looking models of old. Now based on the Fury instead of the Belvedere or Satellite, the 1975 Roadrunner had all the pizzazz of a New York City taxicab, and instead of being positioned as a low-cost muscle car, was now aimed at the luxury car segment.
(Photo courtesy of BringATrailer.)
As such, while plush interior materials and power windows and seats were available, high-performance engines were not. The best the ’75 offered was a 400 cubic-inch, four-valve, dual exhaust V8 with 235 ponies – almost half the actual output of the old 426 Hemi that was available on the car until 1971.
Perhaps the 1975 Plymouth Roadrunner isn’t the outright ugliest car on this list, but its combination of boring styling and lack of performance certainly is enough for it to appear on it.
1978 DODGE CHALLENGER
(Photo courtesy of BringATrailer.)
The 1970 through 1974 Dodge Challenger and its E-body sibling, the Plymouth ‘Cuda, were unquestionably two of the Golden Era’s most beautiful muscle cars. Like many of the other vehicles on our list though, they met their end due to changes in the market determined by the oil shortage and emissions legislation.
That was a pity, but perhaps even more so was Dodge’s decision to bring the Challenger name back in 1978 by slapping it on an existing Japanese car instead of building a new vehicle from the ground up.
(Photo courtesy of ConceptCarz.)
The car they used was the Mitsubishi Gallant Lambda coupe, a horrible looking subcompact that had absolutely no business whatsoever having such an illustrious name attached to it. Possessing instantly forgettable styling, the 1978 Challenger also failed miserably in the powertrain department, which consisted of a choice between a 77 horsepower, 1.6-liter inline-four and a 105 pony, 2.6-liter inline-four.
Shockingly, this heinous attempt to revive a classic somehow lasted six years in the marketplace before it was mercifully canceled. Shame on you, Dodge. Shame on you.
(Photo courtesy of HotCars.)
The Toronado was first released as a 1966 model, and featured bold, somewhat weird styling that today can be viewed as a dated looking attempt at being futuristic. The 1968 refresh though was less on the bold side and more so on the plain weird.
The front end was the main offender, with a bizarre grille and hidden headlight setup that was completely surrounded by an oddly shaped, bulbous, chrome bumper element.
The svelte and sharp-edged rear quarters were in stark contrast to the front, to the extent that the two ends looked like they belonged on different cars. Such was the mishmash of design decisions that period magazines had trouble describing it.
(Photo courtesy of Orlando Classic Cars.)
To make matters even more confused, Olds decided to give the car a front-wheel drive system, which certainly didn’t aid in the handling of this 4,600-pound walrus.
At least Oldsmobile attempted to mitigate the car’s looks with a banshee of a power plant as the top offering – the Olds 455 cubic-inch V8 with 400 ponies and an astonishing 500 lb-ft of twist – but this really didn’t attract the customers the company had hoped for. Blame it on that face.
1973 CHEVY CHEVELLE
(Photo courtesy of G3GM.)
Virtually every incarnation of the Chevy Chevelle in the 1960s and early ‘70s was considered to be one of the top muscle cars during its time, with the 1970 model serving as one of the most iconic American vehicles ever.
Like the GTO and the Olds 442 though, the Chevelle suffered a slow, protracted capitulation at the hands of emissions, insurance, and gas price concerns that altered the very DNA of what the car had been.
The third generation Chevelle, released as a 1973 model, was bequeathed the very same abominable “Colonnade Styling” that had doomed the GTO. Different in some details from the latter car, the transformation nonetheless gave the Chevelle the same overall profile, one that was utterly incongruous to the idea of a muscle car. Everything about the design was milquetoast, from the grille, headlight, and bumper design, to the rear, upon which designers had placed quad round taillights in an insulting effort to connect the car to the vaunted ’71 model.
(Photo courtesy of Mecum.)
Another effort to pander to old school Chevelle fans was the availability of the massive 454 cubic-inch V8, which in 1970 LS6 guise had been one of the most powerful motors of the muscle car era. In the LS5 form of the ’73 Chevelle though, that legendary mill had its output shaved to 245 horsepower owing to a reduced compression ratio and constrictive emissions equipment, something that was as offensive to the Bowtie faithful as was the design of the car.
1975 DODGE CHARGER DAYTONA
(Photo courtesy of GAA Classic Cars.)
Poor Dodge. As much as I love the brand (I personally own a late model SRT Challenger and SRT Durango,) and despite it having produced some of the most beautiful muscle cars of the ‘60s and ‘70s, they did indeed release some disasters as well, and as such, this is the company’s third appearance on our list.
I can’t be helped though, as the 1975 Dodge Charger Daytona, a rebadging of the Chrysler Cordoba, was a car of truly terrible design. In stark contrast to the 1968 Charger which made it to my most beautiful list last month, and the radical, if not exactly attractive, 1969 Charger Daytona winged car that the ’75 poached its name from, this iteration was a bastardization of those former classics.
Its styling? Let’s just say that it lacked any, with its immensely long hood and deck proportions combined with baroque details such as shrouded, round headlights and diminutive quarter windows. The car looked like a land yacht, and not a terribly desirous one at that.
(Photo courtesy of AutoEvolution.)
Adding insult to injury was the fact that the ‘75s powertrain, consisting of a 190 horsepower, 400 cubic-inch V8 mated to a three-speed TorqueFlite auto (nope, no manuals here) could only propel the car to an 11.5-second zero-to-sixty “sprint” and an 18.3 second quarter mile.
Given all this, it could indeed be said that the 1975 Dodge Charger Daytona was the very embodiment of the ‘malaise years” of the American automobile industry, and a stain on the great legacy of the Charger.
So, that’s my list. I’m sure it’s bound to offend some enthusiasts of the cars that appear here, and surprise some folks for what didn’t make it on, so click that email link below if you feel the need to let me know what you think.
Keep an eye out next month when the third chapter of this series, Muscle Cars of the ‘60s and ‘70s Part III: The Fast drops. Until then, happy motoring!